Anna Grishina is a young author published by Marshmallow Books. Her touching story “Fist” about growing up and first love was recently published. The book is imbued with the atmosphere of country summer, warmth and touching childhood memories. We were very inspired by the work and decided to talk with Anna about how “Fist” was created. And also about overcoming creative block and trying to maintain childhood hobbies in adulthood.
— How did your love for literature begin? How did you realize that you wanted to write?
— I always wrote something. When I was about eight years old, I went on vacation to the village to visit my godmother and her children, where I spent almost the entire summer. The settlement was located near Smolensk – about 400 kilometers from Moscow. Quite far away, so adults came to us infrequently – once every two or three weeks. And somehow, when we were toiling with idleness, waiting for guests from Moscow and packages with something tasty (the nearest store was a few kilometers away and all our food joy was a car with bread, which arrived a couple of times a week), we had an idea to do a concert. We came up with some dances and a theatrical skit, and I suddenly decided that we still needed to write stories. As a child who grew up watching The President and His Granddaughter (and the Olsen sisters), I came up with a story about twins who were separated as children and then met by chance. I really wanted to make something similar to real books, so for each adult I copied the story into a separate notebook – there were either three or four of them in total. As a child, I took my handwriting too seriously, it was important for me to write each letter carefully, so the process of transferring from draft to final copy took almost a whole day. I remember how evening came, I was sitting in the dark at a large round table under the light of a lamp, and my hand hurt terribly. This is how I wrote something for the first time.
Then there was a period of poems that I published on VKontakte. They were quite tragic – I think I really enjoyed playing a woman of about forty with a difficult fate. After that, I began to write short notes and stories, which I also published on social networks. And only then came to a larger format. In general, it was a fairly gradual process that ran parallel to my growing up.
And my love for literature began when my grandmother suggested that I read “Tom Sawyer.” And then I was surprised that books could speak the same language to children.
— You graduated from the “Verb” literary school, and then the “I Have Something to Say” courses. How did they help with your writing?
— During the course, I realized that there is a long way between the idea that you initially had and what you get in the end. And it’s better not to go through it alone. No one believes in your text more than you: this is good, but it makes it difficult to see the empty spaces. And at the courses, there are lecturers, an editor, fellow students next to you, and all of them can help improve what you wrote.
And through your studies you get into a community of people who write. A few acquaintances – and life becomes completely different.
— Is it necessary to have a special education to write books?
– No! I don’t have a university degree in writing. And most of the guys with whom I took the course did too. But both they and I have published books.
But additional education seems very important to me. It both gives knowledge and immerses us in the context of what is generally happening in the modern literary world.
— Not long ago your book “Fist” was published by Marshmallow Books. Tell us how you got into publishing.
– It’s quite a long way. At first the book was supposed to be published by another publishing house, but several circumstances arose and everything fell through. I let go of the situation for a while and even started writing another book, but then I met Galya Bocharova, a literary agent. And so I first got my own agent, and then a publishing house that agreed to publish the book.
— The plot of “Kulachok” takes place in the summer, at the dacha of the main characters. Varya and Lyova are experiencing their first serious feelings. Tell us what inspired you. Do events intersect with your life?
— There are no 100% intersections in the book, but there are collective images. My first relationship was similar to how it is described in the book. As a teenager, I always thought that they were different from those of my classmates. And when I grew up, I wanted to show the love of schoolchildren, different from what can be seen in popular culture. Cautious, trembling and sometimes closed.
— As they grow up, the carefree childhood of the heroes becomes overgrown with doubts, omissions, and quarrels. Do you think that children perceive the world and relationships more easily? Why does everything change in adulthood?
“I wouldn’t call it “simpler.” Rather, children are simply more naive in a good way because they do not have experience yet. When you are young, it seems to you that your relationship is special and that no one has loved you like that before. That the adults around you don’t understand anything and come up with their dry advice, but you will still show them what real feelings are. And then you realize that in fact, everyone has similar problems and they also need to be solved. If at the beginning of a relationship it is very easy to make peace – it’s enough just to joke some of your jokes and hug, then over time this no longer works. People begin to accumulate grievances and understatements, and this seems to me the most terrible thing.
— In one of the scenes you show that parents are the same children who once had to give up their dreams. At 2×2 we love to talk about the inner child and maintaining childhood hobbies. What do you think a person needs to not betray himself and make his dreams come true in adulthood?
— There are so many circumstances that say: “What are you doing, you don’t need this”. Lack of time, fear that it won’t work out, misunderstanding on the part of loved ones, the feeling that everyone around you is adults and serious, and you suddenly decided to look for yourself. It seems to me that you need to remember that your dreams appeared for a reason, but because you chose them. And that means they can lead you to where you want to be.
The most important thing on this path is to find someone who can support you. I have a friend who draws. Recently she started posting her sketches, and another friend of mine, who can’t draw, got inspired and also started putting on paper what she sees around her: flowers, cups of coffee, cafe interiors. All my life I dreamed of being able to draw. And looking at that second friend, whose initial skills were similar to mine, she wrote: “I like the way she draws so much, I want to try it too, although I can’t even draw a house made of a square and a triangular roof properly.”. And she told me: “Of course, go ahead, the main thing is that it brings you pleasure”. One kind word, and I immediately ran to order multi-colored markers. My drawings look like children’s drawings, I have problems with proportionality, but I really like the process itself and the fact that sometimes something cool comes out.
Believing in yourself is difficult. But if you find someone who will support, it becomes not so scary.
— Have you kept your childhood hobbies in adulthood?
— When I was a child, I went to dances. There was a different focus, but once a week we regularly studied ballet – these lessons were my favorite. Then practicality replaced dancing – it was necessary to learn English. I liked the language, but I really missed ballet. Recently I thought: if all this brought me such pleasure, why not try to find something similar now? So I started going to barre – sports classes that include elements of ballet and exercises at the barre. Every time I come to the gym, the little girl inside me is happy that she got back what she loved.
— Varya and Lyova have difficult relationships with their parents. Why are you focusing on this?
“It seems to me that there is no teenager who does not have difficulties in relationships with their parents. During our school years, we always compare ourselves with adults, argue, look for our own path, and are faced with the realization that our parents are not ideal – this is a normal part of growing up. And it would be strange if I didn’t show such an important part of life in the text. It wouldn’t be fair.
— It is generally accepted that “love always wins,” but in your book it turns out that sometimes it’s better to let go. Did you immediately think of such an ending?
— When I started writing the book, I didn’t know how it would end: the plot was built in the process. The ending is what my editor and I worked on the most. It changed several times, and now it seems to me that this is the most correct ending possible.
— My childhood, like that of the main characters, was spent in the country. When reading the book, I felt that same atmosphere of summer, warmth and carefree. How did you manage to convey these feelings?
“It’s just that I spent almost all the school holidays with my brother and sister at a dacha near Moscow. We were taken there in June and picked up at the end of August. I always loved this place very much, so I probably remembered everything that surrounded us with special care. I have many different texts about the dacha. During my school years, I wrote down some jokes from my friends and I’s everyday life – I remembered jokes and funny situations, so that later we could re-read them and giggle. Then we grew up, someone stopped coming to the dacha, and my relationship with this place became more personal. I began to write notes about nature, about my feeling of freedom and lightness. And then from all these texts “Fist” came out.
— The illustrations in the book are objects and details that are significant to the plot. Tell us how you selected them, were there any difficulties in design?
— The publishing team was looking for an illustrator. I shared elements from the text that I thought could be transferred into the drawings, and after that they sent me ready-made visuals. I remember that I received them in the evening, and I liked them so much that I immediately sent them to my mother.
— What inspires you?
Inspiration is a thing that can come out of nowhere. Sometimes it’s enough to see something beautiful – for example, an unusual combination of colors – and feel the desire to create something of your own. Or hear a conversation on the subway and start thinking about how to use it in a text. But there is something more permanent – it is, rather, not about inspiration, but about the conditions that help write. It is important to me that the house is clean and quiet.
— Do you experience creative block?
– Certainly! I’m generally not one of those people who easily sits down and writes. I need to do a lot of internal work on myself to go and sit at the computer.
– How do you get out of it?
“The only thing that works here is discipline – don’t wait for inspiration, but do it.” And if stupor occurs during the process, I allow myself to stop and step away from the text for a while. The most effective thing for me is to go wash my hair. Water and routine activities help to distract you. My favorite is when ideas come to you right in the bathroom. I usually always take my phone with me so I can quickly write everything down and not miss an idea. And if the phone remains in the room, I repeat to myself many times everything I came up with, and then run to type. But sometimes no routine helps. And then I just give myself time and return to the text when I feel ready.
— What have you read recently that has impressed you?
— “Dyslexia” by Svetlana Olontseva. This is a book about a woman who left her job on television in Moscow and went to a provincial town to work as a teacher. Not the easiest choice. But despite the subject matter, what struck me about this book is that it does not leave behind an oppressive feeling of sadness.
— Give advice to aspiring authors.
Do what you love at a comfortable pace. Learn from the experiences of others, but don’t compare yourself to anyone. And if something doesn’t work out, give you and the text a little break from each other.
— Hint what your new book will be about.
— About the fact that it is important to make any choice in life on your own.
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Tags: Anna Grishina warm dacha memories work text book Fist Interview #2×2
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